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Ferretina

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Ferretina
Ferretina

Such a nice girl!


Name Ferretina
Occupation Evil Weasel Queen
Residence Outside Zoggletonk
First Appearance In a radio play
Children Do Lapinemoths count?

Title baddie ("badette"?) in the Revenge of the Weasel Queen radio play. She first appears here in a non-action stringer, and makes her first actual story-line appearance shortly thereafter , marveling that Agatha, Zeetha, Krosp, and last but not least (except maybe in terms of competence) Othar Tryggvassen, Gentleman Adventurer, have managed to dispatch a pack of lapinemoths. (Little does she know who she's messing with.) She skillfully plays on Othar's basic cluelessness, spinning the tale of how the Weasel Queen has taken control of the town of Zoggletonk, without however revealing that she is the Weasel Queen. (Well, anyone with the brains of a cabbage should be able to figure it out, but that basically excludes Othar.) Like the Gentleman Adventurer he is, he gallantly offers to walk her home, and only after they stroll off does the unconscious Jorf Oxclonker, a villager who'd been menaced by the lapinemoths, awaken and informs Agatha, Zeetha and Krosp just who they were dealing with. Part 1 of the radio play ends at this predictably cliff-hangerish point.

Ferretina shows up again as Revenge of the Weasel Queen, Part 2 opens . She conducts Othar to her hidden subterranean lair while the rest of the party decides whether to rescue him, and eventually, how to do it. Here, Ferretina reveals her true colors (literally) and begins to plot Othar's ruin, first by a failed seduction of our incorruptible "hero" (terrible peril), and then with a whole passel of additional lapinemoths (which she has created -- this a Sparky evil weasel queen...) getting involved. Even a dim bulb like Othar can figure things out at this point, and so Part 2 ends in another cliffhanger, leading to the near certainty that we'll be seeing Ferretina again. (Seeing lots of Ferretina again; her wardrobe isn't chosen for modesty.)

We don't really know whether Ferretina qualifies as a Spark, (her lapinemoth-creation skillz notwithstanding - maybe it's a monsterish capability rather than a Sparky one), nor do we know whether this radio play is somehow going to connect to the main story. There will presumably be a published Part 3 to this story, however, so stay tuned.

In the third part of the story currently available in toto only in live performance, Ferretina has Othar in her nefarious clutches. Even after tying Othar to a keg of lit explosives and throwing him into a pit of acid, full of mutant acid-resistant flying piranhas equipped with flame-throwers and battle axes, while venomous, mechanical, missile-launching Morris Dancers armed with liquid nitrogen-filled harpoon guns riding giant, rabid killer bees with side-mounted death rays fly overhead to kill him, she has to turn on the lightning generators to complete the doom effect. (I can't make this stuff up --- blame the TPU professors.) However, Ferretina eats a garlic-laden tidbit left by Agatha to mask Ferretina's scent in order to thwart her control over her lapinemoth creations, as Agatha had earlier surmised that the giant rabbits are herbivores by nature and must be obeying Ferretina through her signature ferret odor. Agatha's assumption is completely wrong - Ferretina controls her creations by offering them free health insurance. Before our heroes face certain and painful death, the fashion clank appears and fawns over Ferretina's outfit, praising her ensemble extensively in great detail. The clank and Ferretina go off to Paris together to design haute-couture for the next thousand years, leaving our heroes in Ferretina's lair to only have to fend off the homicidal lapinemoths and lightning generators.

Revenge of the Weasel Queen pt.3 is currently being released on the Girl Genius web site as of June 1, 2009.

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