Jägermonster
From Girl Genius
A Jägermonster (or member of the Jägerkin, but usually just Jäger) is a construct created by the older Heterodyne generations to serve as military personnel.
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[edit] Jäger physiology
Jägerkin have a broadly humanoid appearance, although in general they’re rather ... odd ... looking and unlikely to be confused with real live humans. Specifically, they usually sport skin and hair in non-traditional colors, as well as claws and very sharp teeth. They are created by some Spark-ish process that hasn’t been fully described yet, but is said to involve consumption of some infernal potion.
According to one Q&A session with the Foglios[1], only the very best and strongest soldiers were chosen to become Jägerkin and not all of them survived the process. Out of every ten who downed the bräu, only one or two survived and flourished. Most subjects died right away, but a few unlucky ones went mad or suffered such horrible effects that they begged for death! Most Jägers are also very long-lived, with the oldest among them approximately 600-700 years old. Also according to the same source, this process does not change their genetics, only their appearance. Any Jäger offspring would simply be human.
[edit] Jäger sociology
Jägerkin are feared by most people, for several reasons. For starters, they’re fearsome hand-to-hand fighters (the name, after all, translates roughly as “hunter monster”) who can both absorb and deal extraordinary amounts of damage. For another, they’re usually associated with some of the truly infamous Heterodynes prior to Bill and Barry, most memories of them involving serious carnage. And of course, there’s the entire Hyde-monster mystique, and their reputation for anthropophagy, which seems to be greatly exaggerated. They prefer bug.
Jägers also have an unusual connection to their hats, considering them a status symbol — the one bit of Jäger wisdom revealed in the comic thus far is “Any plan where you lose your hat is a bad plan”[2]. Likewise, hats have been an object of jealousy in the Jägershots cartoons, a last gift given to a dead comrade, and even presented to suitable potential Heterodyne suitors.[3]
They have a highly-developed sense of smell, which comes in handy in a great many settings; for example, they’re able to sniff Agatha out as a Heterodyne, and much later, after Gil zaps the clanks commanded by Rudolf Selnikov, they were able to smell that he’s been hit in the battle, although Gil showed no obvious signs of damage.
Most Jägerkin are currently employed (and thereby protected) by Baron Wulfenbach for use as troops, although they make noises about the lack of consistent fun, i.e. big fights.
Jägers think very highly of themselves and most of them have pretty big egos. Given their history, their status with the Heterodynes, and superhuman abilities, this is understandable. Furthermore, they think they look pretty darn good. They also think they’re very popular “vit de vimmin”, which isn’t as farfetched as it sounds.
Jägers also love to play games, but they're "fuzzy" on the rules involved.
[edit] Important Jäger concepts
- Jägerbräu — a potion designed by Vlad "the Blasphemous" Heterodyne[4] that transforms a human into a Jäger. Note that this alone is not sufficient to make one a Jäger.
- Jägertroth — an oath of loyalty to the Heterodyne family; may also include a sort of code of conduct for Jägers. This oath is taken under what appears to be a condition of free will. Notably, Vole either renounced the Jägertroth or was thrown out by the other Jägers. One major significance of this concept is that it underlines the nature of the bond between the Jägerkin and the Heterodynes. The loyalty that Jägers feel for the Heterodynes is not the unthinking command we see with revenants — Jägers have been known to talk back to Heterodynes if they feel something is important, they’ve been able to make bargains with the Baron Wulfenbach without Heterodyne approval, the Generals have been pursuing their own agenda regarding Da Boyz and the Heterodyne heir, and Jägers were even shown to be happy that Euphrosynia Heterodyne was being married to Ogglespoon against her will. If anything, the link between Jäger and Heterodyne seems more to be a lord-vassal relationship than the standard master-construct relationship.
- Jägergenerals — Jägerkin have a pecking order among themselves, organized more or less like an army. At the top of this is a trio of generals; General Khrizhan, General Zog, und General Goomblast. According to the official Volume VIII character page, Mamma Gkika is also a general.
- Secrecy — A Jäger’s physiology is considered proprietary information reserved only for the Heterodynes. If they need medical attention, no matter how life-threatening, a Jäger will allow only a Heterodyne to work on them. Failing that, they rely on help from other Jägers. This has remained true even while working under the Baron. However, they have one other option.
- Mamma Gkika's — Hidden underneath Mechanicsburg is a combination bar, bordello, and medical facility for Jägers, where Mamma Gkika and her girls tend to those who are too injured to fight.
- Hats - As discussed above, Jägerkin take their headgear very seriously. It has been indicated that the occasional Jäger has been seen wearing two hats.
[edit] Schpellingk und Tings dat Talk Fonny
Jägers, Jägerkin, Jägermonsters, have all been used to refer to these charmers at one point or another. Jäger, the German word for hunter, is both singular and plural and does not take an “s” on the end. Since this looks wrong in English, the “s” is often added anyway. The German-looking plural Jägermonstern has been used as well from time to time (although in actual German, this is just dative plural; in the three other cases (nominative, genitive and accusative) Jägermonster would be the plural form as well). Jaeger is also used when typing for speed or when ä (Alt-0228 or HTML ä) is not available. But hu carez ’bout dot schtuff? Hiz not like der Jägerkin are all dot beeg on schpellingk anyvay.
Now you too can speak like a Jägerkin, with Santiago’s Jagerizer. Once you get used to the language, you can browse the web using the language.
Jägerkin in the story tend to speak with an exaggerated German-like accent, which seems reasonable enough considering German is the lingua Europa. Since they are the only characters who do, their speech may be heavily seasoned by an older Mechanicsburg or Eastern European dialect. (Or maybe it's the pointy teeth...)
[edit] Possibly relevant outside information
"Jäger Monster" is also the name of a drink, based on Jägermeister liquor. See How to Make the Jaeger Monster Mixed Drink for mixing instructions. Serve with hat. Another fun one, no idea if it already has a name, is a shot of Jägermeister and a Monster energy drink. I call it Jägerbrau, as it is nasty stuff and keeps you up.
References
- ↑ See this fantastic report from San Diego Comic Con 2008.
- ↑ "One of those plans."
- ↑ One was a part of the Munchkin card game. Foglio illustrated “Magnificent Hat” for the third expansion, “Clerical Errors”.
- ↑ "The Jägermonsters", p. 14



